Is there a certain neem oil that can be used on Hibiscus? I read somewhere that certain plants are too tender, and neem oil may burn the leaves.
It is true that hibiscus can be sensitive to oil applications. I think this applies to all oils, not just neem. Because of this, you may want to dilute the neem oil by mixing it with water and a bit of dish soap, or choose a product where it's already diluted. Then, test the neem oil mixture on a small area of the plant, wait a few days, and if there's no damage you can spray the whole plant.
My hibiscus tree flowers but the end of the flower turns black along the edge? What is happening?
The flowers of a Hibiscus last about 24 hours. As the flower fades the edges of the flowers will roll and began to fade. This may cause the color change, to darken and appear black or even blue in the case of a red Hibiscus.
If you are dealing with insects, disease or watering issues, the leaves are the best indicator of issues.
I believe your plant is just fine and growing and acting normal.
Here are some links to refresh you on the care requirements.
https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/hibiscus/how-to-care-for-hibiscus-plants.htm
https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/hibiscus/deadheading-hibiscus-flowers.htm
https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/hibiscus/answers-to-what-causes-hibiscus-leaves-turning-yellow.htm
Would it be OK to use a self - watering bottle for my hibiscus plant? Also how would I implement that?
Since Hibiscus plants need large amounts of water during the blooming stage, self-watering is a great idea.
These articles may help you:
https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/hibiscus/how-to-care-for-hibiscus-plants.htm
https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/special/containers/olla-watering-systems.htm
what makes the leaves turn yellow and drop off.
This article should answer your hibiscus question:
http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/hibiscus/hibiscus-leaf-drop.htm
what causes the Hibiscus plantbuds to get a dirty looking sand like substance to cover them? I can get some of it off by rubbing it but it does return.
This could be scale, mealy bugs, a fungus or a combination of those things. Either way I'd treat the plant with neem oil. This article may help:
http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/hibiscus/hibiscus-sticky-leaves.htm
Do I need to water more or less or what do you suggest?
The soil should be moist, but never soggy. When the top inch or so of soil dries out, then watering again--throughly.
Make sure you water so the entire root ball is watered and excess water drains from the container.
On warm dry days, you may need to water twice a day.
Yellowing leaves can be caused by a few other things, so the article below will help you.
I am in S. TX and my plants are 2 years old. They are -probably- 7 ft. tall and very leggy. A week or so ago the bottom branches started turning brown. Browning kept going till 3/4 of plant died. To me, it looks like a chemical defoliant of some kind. I have removed all brown leaves and plan on cutting off small branches that are clearly dead. They are unsightly but are really making an effort to produce flowers. Can I cut plants clear back? if so, how much should I leave? Also how short can branches that are alive be cut back?
You can actually prune back the entire plant in the early spring.
These articles will help you.
http://www.naturehills.com/garden-blog/pruning-hibiscus/
https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/ornamental/flowers/hibiscus/outdoor-hibiscus-care.htm